One Second

Eight days since my last post and what a roller coaster ride it has been. Since BFW God has been moving mightily and needless to say so has Satan (or should I say he is trying to). Every time I go to a BFW I come home filled to overflowing and every time Satan starts the attack. In the past I did not realize what was happening until it was to late. This time I was prepared in advance just in case he attacked and sure enough he was right on schedule and he pulled out all the stops.

You know how he is - it starts out with the simple things like running late for work, the best laid plans fall apart, the dog barks to much, so and so didn't wave at you, so forth and so on. I was so totally prepared this time, I just thanked God every time something went wrong. There was not going to be a stronghold on me. No way, no how!

And of course when those things didn't work, he pulled out the big guns like: waking up and crying all day (for no reason mind you), the toilet backs up (on a holiday and the plumber makes a killing off of you), the one day you plan to be alone with your husband becomes a total nightmare (and you would rather be by yourself), and of course, by then you really have a reason to cry (after all you didn't get your way), you feel that no-one knows what you are going through and then you realize you shouldn't be feeling that way and the guilt begins pouring over you, and to add insult to injury you are waiting on a parking spot and some old person pulls in from the wrong direction and takes the spot you so patiently waited on. Sound familiar to anyone? Sound crazy to anyone?

Like I said this time I was prepared. Or so I thought. After having a good crying session (and justifying it), ranting and raving about the plumber (but thanking God for the toilet), making your husband feel guilty for putting the toilet before you (all the time assuring him it really wasn't his fault) and just after writing that wonderful old person a note of gratitude for taking the space you so patiently waited on (and did I mention writing that you would pray good health over them) only then did I realize I had allowed Satan to blind side me yet again!

However, this time I did what I have never done in the past - I got absolutely ticked off!! No guilt, no shame just total anger! Actually, that isn't even the correct term. I became so overwhelmingly enraged that I screamed at the top of my lungs right there in HEB's parking lot! I am sure if the windows hadn't been rolled up - someone would have thought I was being murdered. But in all actuality it was a war cry from the very depths for my soul and it felt so great I did it again and again.

Do you wonder how I could have allowed myself to be so violated? I did and here's how - for one second I lowered my shield, for one second I believed that because of my experience at the BFW, Satan would be afraid to come near me, for one second I allowed myself to become overconfident in me, for one second I thought I was invincible to Satan and his ways, for one second I got too busy with junk and let my experience slip, for one second I took my eye (just one eye) off of my destiny, for one second I was not in warrior mode. One second - that's all it took!

I was created for such a time as this. I was created to walk in this destiny. My destiny! No one else can walk out my destiny and I cannot walk out theirs. Shield up, both eyes on my destiny, confidence in God only, invincible only with God, junk out the door, warrior mode all the time. Every second of every day.